THE FOLLOWING THREE PARTS ARE ABOUT THE DEATH OF MY BROTHER BOB,
from October 24, 2012, to present (November 12)
MY DEAR BROTHER BOB, 54, the baby of the family, lies in a coma at Alexian Brothers Hospital in St. Louis, fighting probably for the last time the alcoholism that has bedeviled him since a teenager, with my sisters Barb and Nancy at his side. So I return to St. Louis broken-hearted once again, just hoping to help. (October 29 to November 20, or longer if necessary.) Like Hamlet, I am “even poor in thanks,” as I seek your prayers and life-giving good wishes.
And I’m going to do something I really haven’t done before, dear friends. I’m begging for money, to help pay my way. I’m still trying to pay off the previous two trips this year, so I’m swallowing my pride. What with all the hackers out there, you may doubt this desperate plea. But you can count on the security of PayPay, or you can contact me personally, once I arrive (314-210-5303).
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MY BROTHER BOB'S FUNERAL SERVICE: Saturday, November 10, noon, at Ambruster Mortuary (6633 Clayton, across from the Esquire Theater; 314-863-1300), refreshments to follow. Come a little early, if you wish, for viewing.
Your gifts have been just overwhelming in lovingkindness! In fact, you offered (sacrificed!) enough to even help pay for the funeral, a little expenditure I neglected to calculate when I stuck my hand out--and to give some help to Jen and Nick, Bob's kids. Your prayers and good thoughts, of course, are incalculable.
On the day of Bob's death, his nephew Jason snapped this picture of the stormy sky with a big blue gateway shining through. The ultimate "viewfinder," which my brother John had taught us to appreciate before his death in July, to see better the "beautiful things in the world."
Any questions, call me 314-210-5303
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WONDROUS LOVE
My brother Bob’s funeral last Saturday (Nov. 10) was a wondrous event, fulfilling all the longing and planning we put into it, especially my sisters Barb and Nancy. Emotions were pitched high from the start, even before the beginning, actually, when Bob’s son Nick, currently incarcerated, was permitted a short release on Friday, accompanied by three officers, to view his father at the mortuary and sit with him, quietly weeping and praying in private for at least a half hour.
At the funeral itself, the 60 or 70 folks who attended reminded us how big our “family” really is. Bob’s nephews Jason and Dan told personal and funny stories of Bob’s role in “raising” them. Rory Seals, a Dulick by his life-long intimacy with our family, shared his experiences of Bob, including his confidence in Bob’s final grasp for God and faith. But probably the most direct hits on our hearts were a letter from Nick and poems by Bob’s daughter Jenny. It fell to me to read these, because of Nick’s enforced absence and Jenny’s holding tight her two “babies,” Justyne and Jamie. But even I could barely get through it.
Nick wrote, in part:
“I am so sad about my dad, and I just can’t ever stop crying. It’s so hard, but I try to think about the one good thing, that he is no longer suffering.”
And a couple of Jenny’s verses:
Called “Bob” by many,
“Dad” by Jenny and Nick,
God took you from us
Because you were so sick.
It saddened our hearts,
As you took your last breath.
After all these years,
You were finally at rest.
Then, one more twist of the dial when Justyne, 9, surprised us with a letter she had written in crayon to God to take Bob home and give him a “party.” She read it herself, just so, and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.
We ended the ceremony with “Stairway to Heaven,” Bob’s favorite song, which they had played at the hospital as he passed away.
Thank you all again for the flood of kindness and concern, a grand and sweet embrace that we can never forget.
Love, Miguel
