ESTA ES SU CASA--ST. LOUIS 2014
THE AGONY AND THE AGAPE
I saw my nephew Nick, who just got out of 2 years in jail. The “system” is full of red tape, so he had a number of other, minor charges to clear up, including a 50-dollar fine for “visible undergarment” or “sagging” in Charlack, a little speed-trap in north county. Nick’s defense: “It was a hot day, I took off my shirt.” But it’s nice to know our government is protecting us from crack! On the other hand, when he got stranded at the Clayton courthouse, where he had to convince them that they did really want to see him (“Try Doolick”), a policewoman in a squad car comes up. “What are you doing?” “I’m just looking for a way to get home,” a half-way house downtown. “Well, I can only transport prisoners.” She thought for a moment. “Here’s what we’ll do.” She put him in handcuffs and took him to a bus stop on Skinker, and “released” him. Nick: “I wonder what anybody thought who saw that!”
So that brings me to Ferguson. Be careful what you wish for. I thought Ferguson would be “all over” by the time I arrived in St. Louis. And now it is--all over the world! This bedeviled community is struggling so hard to find its center, and it just keeps getting pulled out of balance. A former student who has friends in Ferguson, took me for a visit. No sooner did we arrive than sirens called us to the perpetual protest at the police station, where somebody had struck a protester with his car, and the police arrested the protester--that is, until multiple smartphone videos convinced them to arrest the driver. After more than two months, at least one friend is near the breaking point. “I don’t know if I can do it anymore, I just can’t.” It’s the struggle to keep the peace, keep the calm, keep the hope, and keep the vigilance. One organizer’s face so sad, his tee-shirt pleading: “Pause, Prepare, Plan, Participate Peacefully.” The police formed a line, no guns out, no riot gear, not even hats, and the chief arrived. Talking and shouting continued till a voice announced: “This is no longer a peaceful protest, you are now subject to arrest.” Nothing had changed or “escalated” that I could see, but we dispersed anyway, and had lunch at Cathy’s Kitchen, beginning to get the notice it deserves as a unique eating experience. I had the best fried shrimp I’ve ever had, and the best apple pie.
Then I asked to visit the site of Michael Brown’s death, where a little shrine of flowers, candles, and mementoes in the middle of Canfield Drive marks the spot. Canfield is a gently curving lane through a large green space, with sturdy, rustic apartments on either side. You cannot imagine that anything “controversial” would happen there. I closed my eyes and prayed, for Michael Brown and his family, for Officer Darren Wilson and his family, for everyone and anyone I could and could not name.
Some days later, when rumors flew that a police officer had been shot, FACEBOOK lit up till a former student of mine, whose policeman husband was pulling 13-hour shifts in Ferguson, finally reassured us: “I’ve heard it wasn’t Chris, thank God.” The wounds are not just the blood. There’s racist rants white and black, tears and fears through town and country--sometimes on the same FACEBOOK page. Ferguson, as much as Honduras, where we get 20 Fergusons a day, prompted the title for my new photobook that I show around: “Have a Heart!”
The gentlest protest came at a St. Louis Symphony performance of Brahms’ “Requiem,” when a choir from Ferguson rose from their seats in the audience as the conductor took the stage, to sing an improvised “requiem for Mike Brown.” It was brief, a couple or three minutes, but so beautifully sung that patrons and even orchestra members applauded. Others treated the “interruption” more rudely, but the singers departed peacefully and the scheduled performance proceeded. It was also Yom Kippur, adding another note of solemnity, and no police were called. I heard it all live on the public radio broadcast of the symphony, and when photos and videos appeared, I recognized longtime friends among the singers.
The St. Louis I thought I knew goes like this: When I went to the 13-inning Cardinals game September 18 with my sisters Barb and Nancy and Nancy’s son Dan, we scalped MetroLink tickets from a couple black guys, we scalped game tickets from a couple white guys, and I bought my bratwurst from a black woman who pointed at me and said to my sister, “He’s handsome!” Fans all, everyone cheered “Big City” as he scored the winning run, and we all crammed the last train of the night in celebration.
But “things fall apart, the center cannot hold,” as the poet said, and now the whole city has broken along fault lines--”sides”--that we can no longer paper over. Maybe compassion is the key, compassion that dissolves the differences, and the indifference. Com-passion, what the Scriptures call “agape,” that unifying love that knows no bounds.
At last, I opened my eyes on Canfield Drive, and tears flowed. Ferguson should be on everyone’s “bucket list,” to know its conflicts and its passion. And Cathy’s Kitchen.
As for me, I was bathed in love while I was in St. Louis! I spoke with classes at three schools, where students and teachers responded beyond all expectations. I saw old friends, new friends, babies and bobos (grandparents), and I guess I ate my weight about 6 times over.
My sister Barb’s house, which burned up last December--just in time for Christmas--is almost ready for re-habitation, and it is beautiful. Somehow Barb has maintained her equilibrium and her sense of humor through this ordeal, which at last is coming to an end. She said, in her patented style: “What I love about the house right now, is--there’s NOTHING in it!” Love ya, Barb!
Was I busy? Here’s one day. Rick Blaha invited me to the recurring breakfast of retirees of the Parkway North history department at Jenny’s Cafe (141 and Olive). Meanwhile, North grad Amy Thames Latta asked if we could meet for coffee; she’d be coming from a meeting in U. City, heading home to St. Charles, Jenny’s Cafe right on the way. And Mac McAuliffe, in town only for a few days, who I hadn’t seen since our choir days together at the College Church 35 years ago, said we should have lunch to chat about Honduras and then go out to visit the choir’s director, Paige Byrne Shortal, who now makes her home in Union, MO, straight out Highway 44, Jenny’s Cafe right on the way. So Teresa Jorgen, the absolutely best host on the planet, gave me a ride to Jenny’s Cafe: 8:30 breakfast with the retirees, 10:30 coffee with Amy, 12:30 lunch with Mac, and then off to Union. By that time, I had made friends with everyone in Jenny’s Cafe, including Jenny! That’s about how things went for the whole month.
A couple of emergencies foreshortened the time I might have spent with other friends--and family!--that I longed to see. I’ll try to plan better next time....
Meanwhile, Mac McAuliffe has actually joined me here in Honduras! He lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, but he wanted to see my Las Vegas. He flew all night, arriving on Delta from Atlanta; I came via Houston, and we met up at the airport in Tegucigalpa. The adventure continues!
I came to St. Louis to see your beautiful faces. The attached photos (I hope it doesn’t crash your computer!) are my tribute to your lovingkindness.
Love, Miguel
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